Moravian Lives @ Moravian U

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Ful/3/38 went home Feb: 12. 1770
The course of Life of the Single Sister Grace Thornton
I was born at in murfield Novr. 10. 1736 Baptizd in the Church of England
haveing heard of our Savr. from my infancy, I had a great desire to go unto
the meetings but my mother thought I was too young, but one day I ventur'd
of my own accord & stay'd the whole meeting took Care to be at home before my
mother, fearing she wou'd be griv'd, but when she heard of it was much pleased,
& from that time always took me with her, & when I was about 8 year old I was
took into Care amongst the Childn. by Br. & Sr. Helt. I liked the Childrens meeting
& also the school kept by the Sisters proved a great blessing to my Heart,
in my 14 year I was took into the grt Girls Choir & Heartily wish'd I might be a joy
to our dr. Savr. after my fathers departure I removed with my mother to live in
Holm Lane that we might be nearer fulneck to injay the meetings, & about
my 18 year I had the smallpox in which sickness I was brought to reflect upon
how my heart stood with regard to it's Connection with our dr. Savr. for I found
my self much afraid of dying, feeling my depravity of soul & body & that
I had no assurance of going to our Savr. in my present situation, I laid my
self as well as I cou'd at His thro' pierc'd feet for His gracious absolution &
the freind of Sinners took my fears away & made my sickness more bearable to me
on the 13 of novbr. 54, I was received into the congration to my great Joy and
deep abasement, renew'd my Covenant to be in soul & body my dearest Savrs.
& I continued Happy & chearful for some time; & in april the following
Spring, I was admitted a candidate for the Holy Sacrament to the blessing
of my Heart; for it brought me upon being more Earnest with our Savr.
to prepare me for the injoyment of His body & blood, but this I carried too
farr in my own strength & self working; & thereby came into deep
distress, my own depravity laid such hold of me that I had no
more the sight or feeling of our Savr. in my Heart & became cold
and indifferent to all the former promises which I'd made Him
& I got a love for the world & the pleasures which I saw other young
people injoy; thus with forming various Ideas of delight unto myself
I went to bed one night seamingly well pleas'd, my proud & High dispositn.
to conceal all these imaganry pleasures to my self & I thought to sleep as
at other times, but I'd no sooner laid me down my pleasures vanish'd
& such distress came upon me that I spent the night in the bitteres Tears
Crying out for mercy but felt no sinner in my Heart. this distress
Continued so long that I thought it more then possible ever to survive it
with my sences; one day I retired unto a lonely place fell upon my
face & my Heart bust into a flood of Tears at my dear Lords Feet

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were I wou'd gladly have said Lord have mercy on me! But I cou'd not speak,
but Here I found that freind of sinners nearer to my soul then ever I had
felt before, He forgave His poor distress'd Creature & set me free from
all the sin & guilt that stood before me, & my Heart became as a little
Child before Him; & on april 16, 56 I was confirm'd for the injoyment
of the Holy Sacrament & in may following particepated of that Highest
Good in an inexpressable manner as a poor pardon'd sinner prostrated before
Him & injoy'd many blessings in the dr. great Girls Choir.
June 10 1757. I was receiv'd into the single sisters choir here a new schooling
commenc'd in my heart & I beg'd my Savr. to take me afresh into His hand
& make me a true virgin thro' His own precious blood, for I felt a
daily need of grace & absolution
decbr. 14 1758 I got leave to live at Gomersal Oeconomie at which
place I was soon at Home much rejoic'd at [inserted above line: my] Happy lot [inserted above line: &] felt chearful
& Glad to live amongst the sisters & [inserted above line: to] feel there Hearts to Love for me;
may 1760 I had leave to remove into the choirhouse at fulneck, which
rejoic'd me very much, believeing I was removed from all danger
& had now got a Lasting home till I [inserted above line: she'd] enter'd into my Everlasting rest -
not long had I injoy'd all these great & gracious privilidges but
I began again to feel my self that needy one for whom there was
no help but at the Feet of Jesus; to which place I had many by paths
before He cou'd get His poor sheep, His poor blood bought worm to stoop
so low, & when I think of this what I've injoy'd at that dear place
my poor Thanks are farr too short for all the Toil & Labour should've cost Him
about one whole year, in my Choirhouse I injoy'd a Happy Sabath for my
Heart, & then came into great coldness & indifferency of Heart towards our
dear Savr. & my Sistrs. whom I thought did not Treat me according to my deserts
& instead of being a sinner over my faults I grew High in spirit & brought
myself into such Circumstances as I never felt myself in before; believeing
it impossible to come thro' as I perceiv'd I had intirely lost the sinners Tract
therefore resolved to keep it all a secret in my breast & take an oppertunity
to leave the House in private by a walking out alone;
thus on setting out I resolv'd never to see the choir house more & to
turn my Back upon all the hardships which I found too [inserted above line: much] for to submit to.
on my first stepping out the Tears begun to flow plentifully down my Cheeks
& every step seam'd to pierce my very Heart; I had not walk'd above

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a quarter of a mile but I was struck so with fear & Trembling that I cou'd not
approach one step further & a voice came to me with those words; if thou
goest away, thou wilt be ruin'd in soul & body; turn again & I will
bring thee through, I look'd round me but cou'd see no person but felt
the near presence of our Savr. in my Heart;
I return'd with all speed unto my dear choirhouse with a Thankful
& chearful Heart unto my dear Savr. for His great faithfulness
in helping of me back & after haveing deprived my self of 4
months injoyment of the Holy Sacrament I was on the 12 of march 61
admitted to that great grace again to my never [inserted above line: deep] forgotten abasement
& from this Time I became more open Hearted to my Labourers as I
had never been before to my great loss & shame & pain
Thus far her own words, The particular grace our dr. Saviour bestow'd
on our Happily departed Sistr. makes us adore the freind of Sinners
Who with unwearied Patience follows his poor helpless Worms; Convicts
& Comforts alternately according as the poor deprav'd nature can
bear it; this was the Case with our Late Sistr. who did not like
the searching love of Her Lover; but had a secret inclination
thro Pride to hide her faults; Which stagnated her Course in the
Injoyment of the Blessed Sinners Fellowship with her Choir Sistrs.
The Sencible feeling she had of it at the same time may be
seen by a few Lines; which she her self Composed
I have so often gone astray          May I on Thee my surest Rock
And would seek help some other way   Now fix my faith & not from Thee look
Till I into great Danger came        I know from thee my health does spring
Which made me Cry out for a Lamb     When I around Thee Cling
Her Favourite Verses were the Late Br. Christol's; & in particular
That Hymn; With Painfull Pennance thoughts Distress'd
             The Soul of my Belov'd I see &c
Whereby a tender Emotion of heart towards her suffering Redeemer
was very Perceptible in her; Octbr. of 9 she remov'd into the sickroom
Which prov'd a Blessed school to her; Which Our Saviour made use
of to his own purpose; in delivering her from all her self delusion
as well as from the painfull sensation Occasion'd by imposing on
her Constitution about which she was truly penitent; And thro'
his Grace set her at Liberty from all perplexity; which had
interrupted her Course of grace so many years; This she confess'd
to her Labouresses with [inserted above line: that] aimiable, absolv'd Sinners Beauty;
as Bespoke a serene Dignity & Clearness with the Freind of
Sinners; in such a meltedness of injoyment that all about her
partook of her happiness

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From that time Our Saviour gave her the grace to relish & injoy
His Bleeding Merits, to her Comfort and satisfaction; and supply'd
all her wants richly; she had for some time past a secret
intimation that her stay here wou'd not be long, at which
she rejoic'd Like a child; at that Blessed Meeting where she
shou'd see our Saviour, But her Disorder having hung on her
for some years being something astmatical we did not think
it would be so soon; Till about a week ago; she alter'd
perceptibly; & begun to speak with firm assurance, that her
Hope wou'd soon come to the full Injoyment; she thank'd &
Prais'd Our Saviour night & Day for His Love & Goodness
And often repeated; O my own Dear Saviour how shall
I poor worm thank Thee enough; It is impossible for me
to tell what He has done for me; soon I shall have
the favour to see Thee & kiss those dear Wounds which
have heal'd me; In this Happy Expectation she ended her
dying; & all Perplexity, Comforted & reconcil'd, on the 12th
between 1 & 2 o'clock [inserted above line: in the after noon] with the Blessing of her
Choir; in the 34th year of her age.